Never Stop Dreaming!
These were the words I heard right before I was jolted out of my sleep by my annoying alarm early one morning. I rushed to turn my phone alarm off and hurriedly texted these three words to two of my friends who are a part of my dream team. (I will share in a later post the importance of having a specific group of people around you while on your journey to Becoming More, Doing More and Living More).
I knew exactly why those 3 words were on my mind this particular morning, as they had been weighing heavily on my heart after a recent coaching session I had with a prospective client a few days before. This wife and mom of 3 school age children wanted to explore some things that she could do next in her career. She acknowledge the fact that her life for the last 7 years had revolved completely around being a wife and a mom. As we neared the end of our conversation, with nearly every question I asked, she and I became aware of 3 things:
There was a huge gap between “could do” and “wanted to do” as it related to her career.
There was also a disconnect that existed between the person she was as a child–full of ideas, hopes and dreams–the popular college student who was often in the spotlight and her current situation: an anti social recluse who was in need of some direction.
A shift had taken place and she found herself stuck as she kept saying over and over, “I don’t know what happened to me.”
She had stopped dreaming and as a result she had stopped believing in herself.
She stopped seeing herself as the beautiful woman whom God created with a myriad of gifts and talents including the ability to write, sing, act and build things from scratch.
She had not even been able to truly celebrate the fact that she had finished writing and publishing a book, something she felt she was supposed to complete years ago.
Her identity had become so lost in raising her children and being a new wife that she somehow forgot about and disconnected herself from those dreams she had as a child, believing that the two couldn’t coexist.
As I began highlighting the many desires and dreams she still had locked up on the inside of her: to serve others, the passion to create things or pull things apart and rebuild them, she still kept going back to words and suggestions that were not her own, but had been imposed on her by others. Those words that she continued to rehearse had created the gap that now existed between what she could do and what she wanted to do and it was keeping her stuck. Phrases like:
“Well this person said I could do this.”
“My mother thought I should do this.”
“People said I shouldn’t do this.”
She had allowed the naysayers, the dream busters and the negative Nancys to redirect her life and now she was stuck, 7 years later.
She needed to reconnect to those dreams and to the woman she was becoming in order to tap into those things that she was called to do. Only then would she begin to really live more freely, unapologetically and purposefully. I didn’t want her to wake up one day when her children were grown and out of the house still trying to figure out what she was supposed to be doing.
Perhaps you may find yourself in a similar situation as my client that I described above. Here are a few things to begin considering and things you can do to ensure that you never stop dreaming or becoming.
Create a list of the dreams, visions and desires you had as a young child or even as a teenager. As you write them down, take note of how you are feeling as you describe them in detail. What emotions are connected to that? Does it still excite you, fuel you or take you to a new, peaceful place?
Begin to change your language about who you are now and who you are becoming. Although you cannot change who you were, you have the opportunity to rehearse right now for the woman who you are becoming. Start your statements with “I Am”. Find a few affirmations that connect to that.
Focus on the present. Who am I now? What type of person do I want to become? What kind of things did I used to dream of doing when I was younger? How can I connect the two?
Begin taking inventory of the people and things around you that are speaking against who you are becoming or shutting you down every time you mention something related to your dreams. It may be time to reevaluate your relationship with them.
Consider the gap between things that you “could” be doing and the things you “want” to do. There are a lot of great things that all of us could be doing, but it doesn’t mean we were created to do them. The key lies in first becoming who you were created to be.
May I encourage you to never stop becoming. Never stop dreaming. Never stop pursuing the things you love, the things that come naturally to you, the things that make you YOU. You owe it to yourself. The truth is that there is a roadmap that has yet to be discovered embedded in your life story.
A life well lived is a life getting to know, love and be loved by the God who created you, to BECOME the woman you were created to be before the world began and to DO the things you were specifically called to do. Then you will begin living the more abundant life-the one you were already destined to LIVE.